Musical Mondays—I'm Tired

Boy, it's a good thing I took today off from work because I just cannot seem to muster up enough energy to stay awake. I've got some paid time off that will not get paid out with my vacation pay when I'm laid-off, so I decided to use it up. After all, it is mine, and I earned it.

But then a different HR person said it would be paid out and so now I'm waiting for someone to figure out which is correct, because if it's paid out, I'd just as soon work the days and get the time converted to cash at lay off time.

Still no nibbles on the job front. I did get one rejection notice, though. Yea? I guess it's a good thing, this way I won't be wondering what became of that application. But still, I've applied for almost 20 positions and, other than the flat out rejection, nothing. Peep-less.

I did go see the doctor today. I haven't decided if I'll take the COBRA insurance when I leave, I kinda feel like I should what with the recent surgery and all, but it's expensive. Anyhow, I got the doctor to write a couple prescriptions for stuff I'm almost out of, take a look at my achy foot, examine my surgery scar (which has been really achy lately, too), and take a look at these ridiculously itchy bug bites that just seem to refuse to heal!

Long story short, the foot is tendonitis and I'll need to wear shoes almost constantly in the house from now on; the scar is perfectly fine and the pain is probably nerve endings and I may have that pain forever, and the bug bites? Well, we had the exterminator inspect for bed bugs and treated the cats for fleas, so we can safely rule those out. The doctor said probably scabies. What he hell?

So I've been reading up on the scabies mite. I had sort of ruled them out with my own research because the bites look nothing like what I see online, and other than each other, Scoob and I don't have close skin-to-skin contact with anyone else to catch them. Apparently, it can take months to show symptoms after catching them—so who knows when we actually encountered them. Near as I can tell, contact would have closely coincided with my surgery, or within the month after. But that's if it is scabies, if it turns out to be something else, well, then who knows.

And maybe that's why I'm so tired—the bites seem to occur mostly at night, and now I rarely sleep through a night due to the itching and general heebeejeebeeness. But thankfully the doctor prescribed some scabicide and we'll do the treatments and see if that solves the problem. We may also sleep in the spare room for a couple days so any mites on the mattress can die off since they can't survive more than about 36 hours without a host, which is good news since that's a brand new mattress!

Anyhow, when I get this tired, I always think of Madeline Khan…

I'm Tired
Madeline Kahn

Here I stand, the goddess of Desire
Set men on fire
I have this power
Morning noon and night it's drink and dancing
Some quick romancing
And then a shower
Stage door johnnies always surround me
They always hound me
With one request
Who can satisfy their lustful habits
I'm not a rabbit
I need some rest

I'm tired
Sick and tired of love
I've had my fill of love
From below and above
Tired, tired of being admired
Tired of love uninspired
Let's face it
I'm tired

I've been with 1000's of men
Again and again
They promise the moon
They always coming and going
Going and coming
And always too soon
Right girls?

I'm tired,
Tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
God dammit I'm exhausted

Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired

[Soldiers:]
She's tired (She's tired)
Sick and tired of love (Give her a break)
She's had her fill of love (She's not a snake)
From bellow and above (Can't you see she's sick)
Tired (She's bushed)
Tired of being admired (Let her alone)
Tired of love uninspired (Get off the phone)
She's tired (Don't you know she's pooped)

I've been with 1000's of men
Again and again
They sing the same tune
They start with Byron and Shelly
And jump on your belly
And bust your ballon
Aye!

Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a freakin' shame
I'm so...
Let's face it everything below the waist is kapput!

[Soldiers:]
Tired!

Musical Mondays—Wherever I Go

I know I was probably being overly optimistic to think I would get a call on at least one of the resumes I sent out last week. Still, it was a bit of a let down not to get an email or phone call today. And so the hunt continues.

I need to transition my job responsibilities, but of course, the main person I need to transfer them to is out on vacation for the next 2 weeks. So that'll leave us one week when she's back to cram it all in.

In addition to wrapping up the project I'm currently working on and making the transition as smooth as possible, my boss has asked me to begin and finish another project before I leave. I gotta say, as much as I do not want to burn any bridges, I am not terribly motivated to do that. I will, or at least I will do as much as I can, because that's just who I am, but I'm not excited about it.

In good news, I will continue to work for the company in my eBook production role at a part-time freelancer up to 20 hours/week, and I will pick up some freelance editing assignments from them as well. I know the editing assignment work won't be consistent or steady—it tends to come in bursts—but I can already see there being several weeks where the company will be paying me more as a freelancer than they did as an employee.

I don't understand it either. Granted they won't be paying unemployment insurance or their contribution to my benefits, but still. Anyhow, I'll take on freelance editing at least until I find a full-time position, but I'll keep doing the eBook production for as long as I can balance it with the full-time job.

In garden news, I picked the first tomato from the garden last week and two more today! We'll be wallowing in tomatoes soon.

In not-so-good news, I had been putting off paying the last of my hospital bills from January's surgery. Well, I got the first notice from a collection agency today. I kinda thought they would call at least once before sending it to collections. I'll have to take care of that tomorrow.

In really cool animal news, we've seen some new backyard buddies over the last several days. Toward the end of last week a red fox put in a couple of appearances. I think it may have a den on one of the empty lots next to us, which would explain why the entire neighborhood is plagued by bunnies, except our house. I couldn't get a clear picture of it; it didn't stay out in the open very long.

We haven't been seeing a lot of deer in the yard for a long time now. If we do see them, they're usually across the cul-de-sac from the house. But today, 2 bucks came into the yard. Not once, or twice. No. They made 3 passes at the buffet that is our yard today. I've decided to name them Chuck, and they will be The Two Bucks Chuck.

I was able to get pretty close to them (within about 15 yards) and get some pictures. After their third visit, Scoob went outside and hosed down the shrubbery with deer repellant. Now our house smells like something between elephant piss and really bad BO.

Charming. I don't care how much it cools off, I will not be opening the windows tonight. Not like it's really going to cool off, but you know, if it did.

No zoom; this guy let me slowly walk up on him until I was this close!

I think this is my favorite picture from today

No zoom (again); this is the other buck and he walked up to me until he was this close!

Wonder why this guy's antlers are so uneven. Also, see all the bumps on his ears?
Those are ticks! The backs of the ears on both bucks were covered with them.

One last peek through the trees before wandering off

In honor of The Two Bucks Chuck, I decided to put up some Buckcherry

Wherever I Go
Buckcherry

I'd like to find a place to hide
Where no one knows my name
Maybe down by the sea
And become a mystery

Nobody seems to understand
They're just doing what they can
It comes to me when I'm alone
Things that can't be taught

Cannot be bought

Wherever I go, my mind goes with me
The people I know, they know I'm empty
Wherever I go, I know to blend in
But everytime, there's something giving me away

I have a dream every night
That wakes me up in bed
Out of darkness into light
And nothing's ever there

Question faith and my beliefs
If I'm good enough to care
In my eyes, my obsession
Is more than I can bare

Should I be scared?

I'm at war
There's a battle inside me
You would hate it
If you see what I see
I see the future
And the future is ugly

Away! Away!
There's something giving me away
Away! Away!
There's something giving me away

Musical Mondays—Future's So Bright

Lots of developments here in the Wayward household. I've been waiting to talk about this until announcements had been made.

Scoob's company is laying off 27,000 people and they re-instituted their early retirement program. The program allows those employes who qualify and think they are at risk for being laid off the option to voluntarily leave the company and receive an extended severance.

Anyhow, Scoob and I talked about it and given how unstable things have been at his company and what seems like constant reorganization lay offs, we decided he should apply for the early retirement. He applied last Tuesday. The application window closes this Friday and we're not sure when they will get back to him letting him know if his application was accepted or not and, if accepted, when his last day will be. If he is accepted, he cannot go back to work for them for at least 24 months.

For now we're working under the assumption that Scoob needs to find a new job.

On Thursday I got a call from my boss. What I thought was going to be our regular weekly check-in turned out to be a call with HR on the line notifying me that I was being let go. There is no ambiguity in my situation—my last day is July 13. I'll get 8 weeks severance.

It was a shock, but overall I am okay with it and now I'm feeling pretty positive about making the necessary transitions at work and finding my next adventure. For me, it sort of feels like the next logical step—we physically left California, sold our home there, and now it's time to let go of the jobs and finish our transition to North Carolina. If that makes sense.

But that doesn't change the fact that now we're both out of work.

So we did not go to the National Hollerin' Contest last weekend as planned. Instead, we stayed close to home, worked on our resumes, updated our LinkedIn profiles, started scouring the job boards, and shopped the malls for interview clothes for me. I didn't have many professional office clothes to begin with and what I did have just doesn't fit right after my surgery.

At a minimum, we know that I will continue to work with my employer, albeit in a part-time freelancing role. At least it will be work and generate some income for a while.

As much as I have enjoyed working in publishing, I have always known book publishing typically does not pay competitive salaries. And since we're worried that any new job Scoob finds will involve a pay cut, I'm going to branch out and see if I can't get hired on somewhere where the pay is better, although I have seen a couple of jobs at at locally-based publishers that I am qualified for—there are actually more publishers in the Raleigh–Durham area than I realized. We'll see. I'll put in applications. We're also getting our contacts at at tech companies to put our resumes in front of people.

I'm confident we will get through this—things may just get very lean for a while.

At any rate, that is where we're at. All good vibes, prayers, and juju are welcome. And in that vein, this week's Musical Monday (on Tuesday) (again)…

The Future's So Bright
timbuk3

I study nuclear science
I love my classes
I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades,
I gotta wear shades

I've got a job waiting for my graduation
Fifty thou a year -- buys a lot of beer
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise
I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

I study nuclear science
I love my classes
I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

Musical Mondays—The Zoo

We had an awesome weekend, which we really needed. Scoob even went so far as to call it a perfect weekend—we spent some time doing what we needed to do (mowing the lawn, pulling weeds, laundry), got to see friends (went to a friend's house for dinner and a wild time at the Dollar Store Friday night), and got to do something that we've been wanting to do. We spent Saturday at the North Carolina Zoo!

We've been kind of planning a zoo trip for awhile, but we kept putting it off because we were either too tired, too busy with other stuff, or it was raining, or too hot. It was always something. So even though it was about 90° on Saturday, we went to the zoo!

So in honor of finally making it to the North Carolina Zoo, I give you The Zoo for our Musical Monday—not that it has anything to do with a zoo. And I'll get some pictures up in a couple days.

The Zoo
The Scorpions

The job is done and I go out
Another boring day
I leave it all behind me now
So many worlds away

I meet my girl, she´s dressed to kill
And all we gonna do
Is walk around to catch the thrill
On streets we call the zoo

We eat the night, we drink the time
Make our dreams come true
And hungry eyes are passing by
On streets we call the zoo

We eat the night, we drink the time
Make our dreams come true
And hungry eyes are passing by
On streets we call the zoo

Enjoy the zoo
And walk down 42nd Street
You wanna be excited too
And you will feel the heat

We eat the night, we drink the time
Make our dreams come true
And hungry eyes are passing by
On streets we call the zoo

We eat the night, we drink the time
Make our dreams come true
And hungry eyes are passing by
On streets we call the zoo

Musical Mondays—Walk Believer Walk

Last week I may have intimated that I have a new favorite band, but that's just not true—The Black Crowes will forever be my favorite. So when I said The Silent Comedy may be my new favorite band, I should have added some sort of qualifier.

And as much as I can listen to TBC non-stop for days on end, Scoob, however, cannot, and he is forever after me to find new music. Luckily we like the same types of music. For the most part, any way. We both like classic rock, rock, and blues. After that we start to diverge a bit more, he tends to lean off into jazz and Stevie Ray Vaughan, and I head toward bluegrass, some country, and dirty blues/southern-style rock.

Actually, I tend to be all over the place with my music, liking a little bit of this, and a little bit of that, and a whole lotta Black Crowes. Scoob doesn't necessarily appreciate my country and bluegrass leanings, and as far as he's concerned, any thing with the remotest twang is country & western (he still doesn't get the difference between country and western), and if he hears an authoritative banjo, well, that's just straight up hillbilly music. So when he's turning up the volume of his Rippingtons or latest video game, I'm cranking up the Appalachian and bluegrass music—not quite dueling banjos, but dueling just the same.

Anyhow, the POINT is that I'm feeling guilty for even hinting that The Black Crowes may no longer be my favorite band. Their last studio release with new, original music, Warpaint, came out in 2008 after a 7-year dry spell (there was another release Croweology (2010), and while it was new recordings, it consisted of acoustic recordings of some of their greatest hits of the previous 20 years).

I had never really considered TBC a Christian-rock group before, and I still don't, but there's a great deal of Faith in some of the songs on Warpaint, and those are my favorites. And Faith has been on my mind a lot of late. So, for my bestie and her husband (who came home from the hospital last week, 20 days after heart transplant surgery), and their Faith, which has seen them through this, everything leading up to this, and continues to light their path…

Walk Believer Walk
The Black Crowes

Go down go down you stranger
there's something waiting for you
Angels, dolls, and honey
Temples and harpoons
You want your main line Jesus
Your want your diamond God
You want to pull the trigger
And kill the autumn home

So walk believer walk
Straight into the sun
Walk believer walk
Your work ain't ever done

Pray on pray on my brother
Now's the time for truth
Black shadow come a creeping
Take the soul right out of you
Can you feel the demons pulling?
Can you hear the Devil sing?
Can you taste the poison in your mouth?
Feel the weight of his chains

So walk believer walk
Straight into the sun
Walk believer walk
Your work ain't ever done

aaa a a a aaa aaa aaa a a a oo o o aa

So walk believer walk
Straight into the sun
Walk believer walk
Your work ain't ever done

And because I love them so much (both TBC and my bestie and her hubby) I'ma gonna give y'all 3 ways to experience this one.

Studio recording.

The best live version I came across.

And acoustic.

Musical Mondays—Poison

I've been listening to The Silent Comedy almost non-stop since my sister shared a couple of their songs on facebook. This one is definitely my favorite, and it's somewhat appropriate since I'm scratching at so many bug bites on my body! Not poison, but definitely irritating.

We're really hoping it isn't bed bugs because... *shudder* Although, with all the birds we have around here, it could be bird mites. Or fleas. Or oh my god I'm driving myself itchy crazy.

Anyhow, every morning Scoob and I seem to wake up with new bites and I'm perpetually polka dotted with calamine.

The Silent Comedy was playing in Chapel Hill Sunday night and we almost went. It looked like they were opening for another band (that I just don't care for) and I learned that their harmonicist (is that a word?) had left the group, and the harmonica is one of the things that really makes this song work for me. Actually, I thought we were going to go in spite of all that, but then Scoob and I both took an afternoon nap and after that we just didn't feel like heading out.

A little bummed we didn't go. But still okay that we didn't go. Kapish?

And this is the first time I've really looked at the lyrics; I have no idea what that's all about, but the song still rocks.

Poison
Silent Comedy

Your body went black with the bitters drained
Satin got strapped to a wooden base
Hammer heads clap for the liquid lace
Battery brat and a wicked fade

But if the ladle gets licked, then the suspect’s headed for hell to pay

Scissor-cut slacks and a broken vase
A little high fashion and summer steak
Hanging my hat where the stumbles stray
Lift a gate latch and you’re giving way

But in a fifty-ounce fish, there’s a full shot stiff of the Everglades

This is the best live version of the song I've found.

Or you can try the studio version.

Musical Mondays—Queen of California

Well, Saturday's luau went off without a hitch and I've realized I'm starting to remember people by name, not just face, and we met lots of new people including a relatively new couple from Beaverton, OR. I had noticed the Oregon plates on their pick-up and just had to go say hi. Turns out they've also lived in Fremont, CA (where we moved from) and near where Scoob grew up in Hawaii. Very strange coincidence.

I've also realized something else—it seems to take some folks from around here forever to say what they've got to say because they speak so slowly. And when you find that quality in someone who is particularly chatty and whose thought process seems to get derailed easily... Well, it's enough to drive a girl batshit crazy. I found myself repeatedly dodging one of these most of the luau evening. She's a sweet, sweet lady, I just knew I couldn't take much more without my ears bleeding or an eyeball popping out of a socket.

Anyhow, after doing set-up and decorating on Friday and then cooking until late to get the chicken done, luau until your feet say "oo-ow" from 4 to 11 on Saturday, and heading back on Sunday for a few hours of clean up, I slept like the dead last night. Even after I'd passed out on the couch with my head in Scoob's lap for a couple hours!

I got my very first North Carolina State tax refund in today's mail—a whole $40—but it's $40 more than I had yesterday. And I swear I just paid all those bills that came in the mail along with the refund. Sometimes I swear the month goes round way to fast.

Our garden is just speeding along. I brought in my second spinach harvest last night for dinner and we've got actual tomatoes on a couple of the tomato plants already! I'm really looking forward to those ripening up! Waiting to see how the peppers and okra will do.

Last week, it must have been Friday, I stumbled across free streaming of John Mayer's new Born and Raised album (are they still called albums?). I'm not normally a big John Mayer fan, but for the most part I did like this. It's got a low-key Southern Rock–hippy-dippy-60s vibe. I would say, though, that a couple of songs (especially Queen of California, below) are more than a little similar to songs that already exist. They so closely resembled other songs with style, tempo, key, harmony, I actually thought the song was going to be a cover. I can't for the life of me put my finger on the name of the song it sounds like, but I'm thinking Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.

Anyhow, there's nothing particularly splashy or flashy on the album, but I liked it and thought it made good getting-work-done or book reading background music—mellow, feel-good, tapping your toes kind of music, but nothing that's going to distract me from work because I can't control the urge to dance and sing along.

Queen of California
John Mayer

Goodbye cold, goodbye rain
Goodbye sorrow, goodbye shame
I'm headed out west with my headphones on
Boarded a flight with a song in the back of my soul
And no one knows

I just found out her ghost left town
The Queen of California is stepping down, down

Hello beauty, hello strange
Hello wonder, what's your name?
Looking for the sun that Neil Young hung
After the gold rush of 1971

I just found out her ghost left town
The Queen of California is stepping down, down

[INSTRUMENTAL]

If you see her say, "Hello"
Just don't tell me, "I told you so"
Joni wrote Blue in her house by the sea
I gotta believe there's another color waiting on me
To set me free

I just found out her ghost left town
The Queen of California is stepping down, down

[INSTRUMENTAL]

And since the album hasn't been released yet, they're being a little bitchy about DRM on the video, but there's a live version of John Mayer performing Queen of California here.

Musical Mondays—Rain

It has been raining like crazy here today, and will probably continue pouring down buckets for a few days. I've been kicking around the idea of installing rain barrels to use for watering the garden. I'm pretty sure it's against the HOA rules here, though.

And a big part of me says "I don't care. My land—my rules. Thpppt!" Actually, I'm thinking more along the lines of what they don't know won't hurt them (or me). I've been casually looking for some 55-gallon, food-grade drums, preferably green (many are bright, bright blue). As long as they're not neon green, they shouldn't be too difficult to blend into the greenery around the house.

Anyhow, I'm watching it pour outside and a little stream is running through the front yard at the culvert and there's just so much water that the sprinkler system relief/overflow valve is spewing water and the system isn't even turned on!

So yeah, we're in for a wet one this week. It's making me wish we had gone to the grocery store yesterday instead of taking a lazy day. In our defense, we had planned to go to the zoo and pick up groceries on the way home, but it was forecast to rain buckets yesterday, so we stayed home. Unfortunately/fortunately, the rain didn't show up until today.

Rain
Creed

Can you help me out?
Can you let me a hand?
It's safe to say that
I'm stuck again

Trapped between this life and the light
I just can't figure out
How to make it right

A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more
Something more...

I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
With every tomorrow comes another life

I feel it's gonna rain
For days and days
I feel it's gonna rain

I've tried to figure out
I can't understand
What it means to be whole again

Trapped between the truth and the consequence
Nothings real
Nothings making sense

A thousand times before
I've wondered if there's something more
Something more...

I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
Rain like this

Fall down
Wash away my yesterdays
Fall down
So let the rain fall down on me

I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
Let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
Rain like this
(So let the rain fall down)

I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
(So let the rain fall down)

I feel it's gonna rain like this
I feel it's gonna rain...

Musical Mondays—Keep Your Head Up

Well, as expected, in an attempt to express myself, last Monday's post triggered a maelstrom. I don't think I was being harsh in my post; just trying to convey some the conflict I feel inside. As a result, my mother has decided she doesn't want to speak with me for about 40 years.

Yea.

I fully expected to be shut out for at least a few weeks, not completely disowned. I talked with her earlier last week thinking I'd better call and get what I've got coming to me, only everything was fine. She actually sounded really good. It didn't occur to me she hadn't read the post yet. So, finding her brief email in my inbox yesterday morning was a surprise.

And I'm angry, more than I'm hurt. Because this is the kind of emotional roller coaster I've ridden with her most of my life (granted, it's only become this volatile in recent years), and to avoid setting her off, or to cope with the aftermath, I became really good at compartmentalizing and detaching myself. Only I've been working so hard to stop doing that and my mind won't stop whirling around this whole situation. I want to put it in a box to deal with later.

And then I feel guilty because I'm angry with my mother. Which is really the point, isn't it? The guilt. I mean hell, she's still holding onto (and I'm still apologizing for) something I said to her when I was in the 1st grade—30+ years ago. She's still holding onto the hurt for something her mother said to her when she was 15 or 16. She's still holding onto the feelings of inadequacy her father instilled in her.

And now I mad again. And I don't want to be part of this pattern anymore.

Scoob and I tackled unpacking some of the remaining boxes in the garage last night. Coming across my baby blanket pretty much put an end to that, though. And sending out Mother's Day cards in this morning's mail felt like a farce.

Scoob has suggested I seek therapy. And I think he's right—I can't do this anymore.

(And can I just say…I really, really want to ride the slip-n-slide in this video!)

Keep Your Head Up
Ben Howard

I spent my time watchin'
the spaces that have grown between us.
And I cut my mind on second best
or the scars that come with the greenness.
And I gave my eyes to the boredom,
still the seabed wouldn't let me in.
And I tried my best to
embrace the darkness in which I swim.

Now walkin' back down this mountain
with the strength of a turnin' tide.
Oh the wind's so soft on my skin,
the sun so hard upon my side.
Oh lookin' out at this happiness,
I search for between the sheets.
Oh feelin' blind and realize,
All I was searchin' for was me.
Ooh ooh all I was searchin' for was me.

Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
No, no, no, no.
Keep your mind set, keep your hair long.
Oh my my darlin' keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
No, no, no, no.
Keep your mind set in your ways, keep your heart strong.

I saw a friend of mine the other day,
and he told me that my eyes were gleamin'.
Oh I said I had been away, and he knew,
oh he knew the depths I was meanin'.
And it felt so good to see his face
or the comfort invested in my soul.
Oh to feel the warmth of a smile,
when he said "I'm happy to have you home.
Ooh ooh I'm happy to have you home."

Yeah, keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
No, no, no, no.
Keep your mind set, keep you hair long.
Oh my my darlin', keep your head up, keep you heart strong.
No, no, no, no.
Keep your mind set in your ways, keep your heart strong.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change.

May you find happiness there,
May all your hopes all turn out right.

Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
No, no, no, no.
Keep your mind set, keep you hair long.
Oh my my darlin', keep your head up, keep you heart strong.
No, no, no, no.
Keep your mind set in your ways, keep your heart strong.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change.

Musical Mondays—Soldier of Love

I don't quite remember how I originally came across this song, but it resonated with me the first time I heard it and it seems to be cropping up in my playlist a lot lately.

Several people I know and love have been burned in love recently, so I thought I'd share this song.

Soldier of Love
Sade

I've lost the use of my heart
But I'm still alive
Still looking for the life
The endless pool on the other side
It's a wild wild west
I'm doing my best

I'm at the borderline of my faith,
I'm at the hinterland of my devotion
In the frontline of this battle of mine
But I'm still alive

I'm a soldier of love
Every day and night
I'm soldier of love
All the days of my life

I've been torn up inside (oh!)
I've been left behind (oh!)
So I ride
I have the will to survive

In the wild wild west,
Trying my hardest
Doing my best
To stay alive

I am love's soldier!

I wait for the sound
(oooh oohhh)

I know that love will come (that love will come)
Turn it all around

I'm a soldier of love (soldier of love)
Every day and night
I'm a soldier of love
All the days of my life

I am lost but I don't doubt
(oh!)
So I ride
I have the will to survive

In the wild wild west,
Trying my hardest
Doing my best
To stay alive

I am love's soldier!

I wait for the sound

I know that love will come
I know that love will come
Turn it all around

I'm a soldier of love
I'm a soldier

Still waiting for love to come
Turn it all around

Still waiting for love to come
Turn it all around

Still waiting for love to come
Turn it all around

Still waiting for love to come

Musical Mondays—Tighten Up

I've had this song on my playlist forever, but I just saw the video for it this weekend and it made me laugh. So now I'm sharing it with you.

Yeah, I know there should be more backstory, but that's all I got.

Tighten Up
The Black Keys

I wanted love, I needed love,
Most of all, most of all
Someone said true love was dead
And I'm bound to fall, bound to fall
For you
Oh, what can I do?
Yeah

Take my badge but my heart remains
Lovin' you, baby child
Tighten up on your reins
You're runnin' wild, runnin' wild
It's true

Sick for days,
So many ways
I'm achin' now,
'M achin' now
It's times like these I need relief
Please show me how,
Oh show me how
To get right,
Yes outta sight

When I was young and moving fast
Nothing slowed me down,
Oh slowed me downNow I let the others pass
I've come around,
Oh come around
'Cause I've found

Living just to keep going
Going just to be sane
All the while live knowing
Such a shame

I don't need to get steady
I know just how I feel
Telling you to be ready
My dear

Musical Mondays—Down by the Riverside

I've never been one to listen to overtly religious music, and I've certainly never sought it out.

A while back, a guy in our Berkeley office who wrote and edited a music magazine was cleaning out his office and put USPS buckets full of CDs in the hallway for the taking. We're taking about 30 USPS buckets. Full to the brim.

Turns out he had a friend who was in one of those music clubs, and his friend would record every single CD he got for his music magazine friend. Every. Single. CD. For years. Even after the music magazine friend asked him to stop.

Repeatedly.

Anyhow, it was huge boon for us in the office. A lot of us would take home 20 or so CDs, copy them to iTunes, then bring them back to the office, and take another 20. Eventually someone got tired of looking at the CDs piled in the hallway, but I ended up getting a lot of great music (and a lot or crap, to be sure) I never would have found otherwise. And I didn't even make through two full buckets.

One of the gems I did rip was The Gospel of the Blues. I find the songs at turns relaxing and uplifting. Anyhow, seemed appropriate for our post-Easter Monday.

Down by the Riverside
Sister Rosetta Tharpe and the Sam Price Trio

I feel so bad in the morning
I feel so bad in the middle of the day
I feel so bad in the evening
that's why i'm going to the river, to wash my sins away

I'm gonna lay down my heavy load, down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside
I'm gonna lay down my heavy load, down by the riverside,
I'm gonna study war no more

I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more
I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more
I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more

Well, I'm gonna put on my long white robe,
(Where?) down by the riverside (Oh)
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside
I'm gonna put on my long white robe,
(Where?) down by the riverside
I'm gonna study war no more

I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more
I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more
I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more

Well, I'm gonna lay down my sword and shield,
(Where?) down by the riverside
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside
I'm gonna lay down my sword and shield,
(A-ha) down by the riverside
I'm gonna study war no more

I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more
I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more
I ain't a gonna study war no more,
I ain't a gonna study war no more

Musical Mondays—Gimme Shelter

We had a good weekend. I had to bow out of supper club on Saturday night due to allergies—aside from itchy eyes, physically I felt better than I had all week, but the amount of sniffing, sneezing, and general wheezing would undoubtedly ruin everyone else's appetites. So I stayed home.

I did some weeding in the yard on Sunday and checked in on the garden. It looks like every thing we planted from starts has taken, now I'm just waiting for some seeds to sprout. Hoping to get some pictures of the garden box up soon. I got a pretty decent work out in, too, and did a ton of laundry because the cats are shedding all over everything.

But, as usual, Scoob put me to shame with how much he got accomplished. He sanded and stained the back patio and stairs (it looks so much nicer now), mulched up piles of leaves all around the house, and sprayed the lawn for mosquitoes, ticks, and chiggers.

The thunder storms have eased up a bit around here. I'm sure we'll have plenty more, but we're enjoying the sunshine in the meantime.

During our last big storm, I went out on the front porch to watch awhile and kept seeing a dark blob out of the corner of my eye overhead. At first I thought the mud wasps had been really busy, but on closer inspection it was just a little birdie, all puffed up in the corner, taking shelter from the storm.

Poor guy.

Just as lightening was flashing.

Little birdie puff ball.

I've been so knocked out on Benadryl at night for allergies I have no idea if there's music in my dreams or not. So this Musical Monday is in little birdie's honor.

Gimme Shelter
Rolling Stones

Oh, a storm is threat'ning
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away

War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Ooh, see the fire is sweepin'
Our very street today
Burns like a red coal carpet
Mad bull lost its way

War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

The floods is threat'ning
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or I'm gonna fade away

War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away

I tell you love, sister, it's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
Kiss away, kiss away

Musical Mondays—Knock On Wood

So, at least today's Musical Monday makes some kind of sense to me. We've been getting hammered by thunderstorms here this past week. Every. Single. Day.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I loves me some thunderstorms.  Growing up near Portland, I remember getting 6 or 7 good thunderstorms a year. But living in the Bay Area, we were lucky if we got 1 thunderstorm every 2 to 3 years and I've been in withdrawals (and, yes, I always hear Hagrid's voice when I use that word).

Since we'd been looking at Pittsboro for awhile before moving, I knew we'd get lots and lots of thunderstorms here, and I've been looking forward to it. The cats, on the other hand, I am certain are scheming my demise.  And I can't say I blame them.

Sometimes the thunderstorms here are what I'd call normal—pretty lightening and moderate to loud thunder. Sometimes we're just on the edge of the storm and we'll hear rolling thunder of in the distance. And sometimes we're right smack dab in the middle of it.

And when we are, several of our thunderstorms are accompanied with tornado warnings, which we're still not quite sure how to handle. We mostly make sure the storage area under the stairs is cleared out enough to serve as shelter if we need it. And even when there's no tornado warning, the thunder is deafening. I've decided foley artists probably come to Pittsboro to record thunder for horror movies—It's crazy loud, sounds like it's right on top of the house, and I swear it shakes the house and the fillings in my teeth at least as much as any earthquake I ever felt in California.

Anyhow, this song has been on a loop in my head. I had no idea how many artists have covered this song—Wilson Pickett, Cher, James Taylor, and so many more. I know it's the Amii Stewart disco queen version that I'm hearing in my head, and honestly, thunderstorms just became a lot scarier after taking a look at her getup in the video. Is that a fascinator? I have to say I prefer the Otis Redding and Guy Sebstian versions.

Knock On Wood
Eddie Floyd and Steve Croppe

I don't want to lose you
This good thing
That I got
'Cause if I do
I will surely,
surely lose a lot
'Cause your love is better
Than any love I know
It's like thunder and lightning
The way you love me is frightening
You better knock, knock on wood, baby

I'm not superstitious about ya
But I can't take no chance
You got me spinnin', baby
You know I'm in a trance
'Cause your love is better
Than any love I know
It's like thunder, lightning
The way you love me is frightenin'
You better knock, knock, knock on wood, baby

Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood
Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood
Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood
Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood
Think I better knock

It's no secret about it
'Cause with his lovin' touch
He sees to it
That I get enough
With his touch all over
You know it means so much
It's like thunder and lightnin'
The way you love me is frightenin'
You better knock, knock on wood, baby

Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood
Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood
Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood
Think I better knock, knock, knock on wood

Scary disco psychedelic

More bluesy, soul

Musical Mondays—Crimson and Clover

I tell you, this internal soundtrack just keeps running. It seems like I notice it most on Monday mornings. Maybe my brain is trying to set the tone for the work week before I'm even awake. If that's the case, judging from this song the week may be an exercise in doing the same things over and over.

Whatever the reason, I caught just a snippet of the chorus for Crimson and Clover as my feet hit the floor. I'm not sure if it was the Tommy James and the Shondells version, or the Joan Jett and the Blackhearts version. Maybe it was a blend of both, with the heavy reverb from TJ&S and the rockin' guitars from JJ&B.

Crimson and Clover
Tommy James and the Shondells
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Now I don't hardly know her
But I think I could love her
Crimson and clover

Ah
Well if she come walkin' over
Now I been waitin' to show her
Crimson and clover
Over and over

Yeah
My mind's such a sweet thing
I wanna do everything
What a beautiful feeling
Crimson and clover
Over and over

Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over

Oh, What a Night

Have you ever woken up in the morning with a song rolling through your brain? This seems to be happening to me a lot lately.

I have no idea what I'm dreaming about when these songs are providing a soundtrack, and even though there's a whole branch of psychology devoted to dream interpretation, there's very little information about music in your dreams beyond:

Music

To hear harmonious and soothing music in your dream signifies prosperity and pleasure. You are expressing your emotions in a positive way. Music serves to heal the soul.

To hear discordant or out of tune music in your dream signifies unhappiness, lack of harmony,and troubles in your relationship or domestic life.

Songs

To hear or write songs in your dream indicate that you are looking at things from a spiritual viewpoint. Your future will be filled with happiness and wealth. Consider the words to the song that you are dreaming about for additional messages.

In ancient times, dream messages could only be unraveled by people with certain powers. So, in the hopes that one of you have these powers, I offer up my internal soundtrack for your interpretation. And now you can have these earworms stuck in your head too! Lucky, lucky you.

In the meantime, I feel oddly inspired to locate a pair of bell bottoms, roller skates, and every sequin I can lay my hands on.

Oh, What a Night
Frankie Vallie and The Four Seasons

Oh, what a night.
Late December back in '63.
What a very special time for me,
'Cause I remember what a night.

Oh, what a night.
You know, I didn't even know her name,
But I was never gonna be the same.
What a lady. What a night.

Oh, I. I got a funny feeling when she walked
In the room and I,
As I recall it ended much too soon.

Oh, what a night,
Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me.
She was everything I dreamed she'd be.
Sweet surrender, what a night!

I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder
Spinnin' my head around and taking my body under.
Oh, what a night!

Oh, I. I got a funny feeling when she walked
In the room and I,
As I recall it ended much too soon.

Oh, what a night.
Why'd it take so long to see the light?
Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right.
What a lady, what a night!

I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder
Spinnin' my head around and taking my body under.
Oh, what a night!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a night!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a night!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a night!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a night!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)
Oh, what a night!
(Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do.)

Sorry for the Spanish subtitles, but this was the best sound quality while still showing Fankie Valli and The Four Seasons in all their 70s bell bottom glory.