Sunday, September 4, 2011


It's train weekend at the farm again. I know this happens every Labor Day weekend, but it still seems to come around far too often. Unfortunately, we've got lots to do in the house, so escape is not an option.  Can't wait until we're in our new home where the most bothersome sound is likely to be a noisy bluejay or woodpecker.

On the other hand, friendships in North Carolina seem to be dissolving. In a bad way. And I'm not looking forward to moving into the emotional quagmire it seems to be degrading into. Our friends are under the impression that we've said or done something to intentionally hurt them, but will not tell us what it is that we've said or done.

I can't help but think that, since I went to NC by myself this last trip, it's really got more to do with something I said or did. I don't think I did anything hurtful. Neither one of us wants to deny outright any wrong doing because it's always possible that something was said without thinking, someone took something the wrong way, blew it out of proportion, or took something out of context. And if one of us did say or do something, we'd like the opportunity to own up to it and know what we're apologizing for. But without knowing it's next to impossible to set things right.

Anyhow, this friendship sort of blew up in our faces this weekend, and Scoob and I spent most of yesterday trying to get to the bottom of it only to be meet with vitriol and vague statements about what we've supposedly done. I know it's bothering Scoob, though he's not one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. As for me, it was just within this past year that I began to feel comfortable enough around these people to feel they could be friends to me as well as Scoob. And it's killing me to think I may have said or done something to ruin what has been a 20+-year friendship for Scoob. But the way things are progressing, I can only assume they don't want to set things right and just want to wash their hands of us.

While this friendship isn't the reason we're moving, it was this friendship that helped us discover North Carolina in the first place. It was also this friendship that kept us from feeling like we were moving to a place where we didn't know anyone. Most of the people we've met during our visits were through these friends, and I can't help but think that now we're not only moving to a place where we know no one, but that we're also moving to a place where people will have a poor opinion of us before we even get there due to the fallout from this friendship. I know I'm assuming the worst; that's what I do. But I sincerely hope that is not the case.

So enough of that. If they don't want to tell us exactly what's wrong, there's no way to fix it, and honestly, we've got enough things to stress about right now—we've still got last details for the house, coordinating the sale of the condo, our jobs, and the actual packing and moving to contend with. It's not that this friendship isn't important to us, but we're having a difficult enough time taking care of each other through all this and keeping our relationship strong; we've only got so much energy and can only spread ourselves so thin. Even so, I was up most of the night worrying about it. It's just such an ugly feeling and I don't have room for it.

So, yeah, enough of that. We meet with the real estate agents again on Friday and started taking photos for the pre-launch on the condo sale. I think they got some really good shots, but they'll probably take more photos once we've moved out. With the furniture gone, the place will look much larger.

There was some discussion about listing the condo now, but I absolutely do not want to show the condo while we're still living in it—there's no way we could show it in it's best light with us trying to pack at the same time; it will only be obvious to a potential buyer that the unit does not have enough storage optrions. So the agents will send out an "available soon" listing to other agents in the area to begin generating interest but won't put it on the MLS listings until we're out.

If they get an interested and bank-approved party from the pre-launch, we'll gladly let them in to see the interior. But once the MLS listing goes out, the house needs to available for anyone who wants to view it. I just don't want to have to let everyone in at this point; there's enough stress already, we don't need to also be living on the edge, ready to grabs the cats and vacate the premesis on a moment's notice so people can see the condo.

We still haven't decided what price to list the condo at. We'd like to get as much money as we can back out of the sale, but we also want to sell it quickly so we're not paying mortgage on an empty house. There was another unit in our complex that was under contract for a good sum, which would have raised the market value for our unit as well, but something happened and the unit is back on the market. Our agents are coming over this afternoon and we'll go look at the unit with them to see what our competition is.

That said, I should probably gulp down the last of my morning coffee and get ready. I just need to tuck away whatever stress and anxiety I'm feeling about our friendship in NC so we can take care of what we need to take care of here. Prayers and general good vibes are greatly appreciated.


  1. I am so sorry you guys are dealing with that emotional mess! I so know how it feels to not have a clue what you did but be faced with the blow up. You're right: you have to set this aside if they aren't going to tell you what the problem is. Just just repeat that to yourself until you believe it. And know I'm praying for you guys through all this.

  2. You are definitely in my prayers, and have been for some time now. I agree that this "you made me mad but I won't tell you how" situation is just ICK. I hope you find a way to patch things up.