The Twinkie Defense

Scoob has been whining about the end of Twinkies like its the end of the world. Twinkies were never my thing, so I'm having a hard time understanding the angst. Sure, I enjoy a Ding Dong or Ho-Ho now and again, but I honestly cannot remember the last time I had one or the other.

Then last night, someone on Facebook reminded me Hostess made the fruit and pudding pies, too. Okay. Shit just got real. Other kids may have had Twinkies in their lunch boxes, but my mom packed the fruit pies in mine.

I distinctly remember grocery shopping with her and coming up to the fruit pies and she would let me pick out the favors I wanted--apple, lemon, and (of course) chocolate pudding were my favorites. I remember how I had to be careful when eating the blackberry ones, because the filling had a way of gooshing out whet you bit into it, and the blackberry filling would stain whatever it fell on. I remember the disappointment of finding a smooshed pie in my lunchbox. And I remember eating it anyway.

And it wasn't just grade school. I remember eating Hostess fruit pies well into high school and even after, though with less frequency. I remember buying and packing them for camping trips, and yes, they usually got smooshed then, too.

I haven't rushed out to the stores to buy up the last few on the shelves, but if I do happen to spot one, I might be tempted to place it in my cart for nostalgia's sake. However, I am reading that psychologists are preparing for Twinkie Withdrawal Syndrome (TWS).  "It sounds like a joke, but it’s real," said Dr. Virginia Albertson of North Carolina. (North Carolina. Figures.) And that police departments in many cities are preparing for a riots at 7-11s and other delicatessens.  (Did they really just call 7-11 a delicatessen? Clearly, this is not a reputable source.)

Anyhow, back to Scoob and his Twinkies. So, this morning Scoob was lamenting over how all the stores are sold out and Twinkies are now a collectors item selling for $300/box. And he's just crushed that he'll never have another. I reminded him that Hostess will be selling off its products and recipes, so Twinkies are not gone forever. "But they just won't be the same," he said.

Now he's totally stoked because he just bought 2 boxes online (at regular price). Me, I'm now looking at a future where his perfectly preserved Twinkies share shelf space in my pantry with his Peeps that are already several years old.